Raccoons in da’ House

Apparently this is a video promoting an expose about corruption in the Major League Soccer team, DC United. It’s by a group called Once a Metro, specifically Jesse Marsch. I think? There’s no real information divulged in the video, so I suppose it’s just a teaser for the expose? I’m not sure I can actually find the articles of whatever. Unless the implication is that actual raccoons are the source of the corruption? The whole thing is kind of baffling. But the picture of Nixon with a human-sized raccoon is kind of funny.

Raccoons in the Venues

Raccoon jug from Joyce’s Creative Country

If you live in Davenport, IA then you recently got a new place to go to listen to chill bands and drink. The Triple Crown Whiskey Bar & Raccoon Motel, that’s all one place, apparently, opened on March 30. In an interview with one of the owners, Sean Moeller, who also owns the music studio Daytrotter,  he explained his desire to open up a (presumably) hip, new (yet familiar and lacking pretension) venue was because his home was in Davenport and he’d like to attract some shows. Sounds good to me! I’m tired of the big cities always getting all the acts. It’s even worse when some bands are convinced that anything other than the coasts is purely “flyover country.” Sadly, he didn’t explain the name of the place. I was hoping for some interesting anecdote. Still, I’d be compelled to go to a place named “Raccoon Motel,” although I’d be a little disappointed if there weren’t a bunch of raccoons lounging about on vacation. I’d need a shot of whiskey to recover.

Source: WQAD8

Raccoons in the Boudoir

I’m sure that if HE went topless in this photo, nobody would’ve complained.

Russians seem to like raccoons. I’ve seen several videos of raccoons where the people involved are speaking Russian. In fact, I follow the Instagram account of a young woman who has a pet raccoon.  He’s cute and ornery; half the videos she posts are her lovingly petting the animal and him looking like he’s about to bite her hand. Note that raccoons are not native to that part of the world, but they’re adaptable little critters so I’m sure they could thrive there anyway.

But that’s neither here nor there. Sometime last year, a Russian advertising agency, Art-Msk, was preparing for a photo shoot to promote a brand of lingerie. At some point in planning this campaign somebody’s brain broke and they said: “Hey, do you know what sells women’s underwear, comrade? Raccoons!” So they lined up a model and then went to a petting zoo, a place whose name translates to “Animals are not Toys,” to rent a raccoon named Tomas for a little while.

During that time, Tomas posed with the model, stole her bra, and was generally cute … or a nuisance, according to representatives of Art-Msk, who insisted Tomas was unmanageable and not at all what they were looking for.

According to the zookeepers, he was traumatized by the experience and became reluctant to co-habitate in the zoo and developed an interest in human females’ breasts. Welcome to the club, buddy!

There’s now lawsuits being pitched back and forth, with the zoo saying that using an animal in nude photography is obscene and is asking to suppress the photos while the marketing company is saying their outrage is simply an attempt to get publicity for the zoo.

Source: RT News

Raccoons Isn’t Trash


A couple of days ago a raccoon achieved internet stardom as it was caught hitching a ride on a garbage truck by Politico reporter Helena Evich in Arlington, VA. After altering the garbage truck driver to the presence of the stowaway she Tweeted the image she’d snapped while driving (because it’s the 21st century) and it spread like wildfire along with #trashraccoon. That just becomes a bizarre complication as the internet has already decided to give raccoons to moronic moniker of “trash panda,” so “trash raccoon” becomes almost recursive. Anyway, after a few miles the garbage truck driver stopped near Larry Graves Park where police worked with him to remove the raccoon from the vehicle and release it into the park.

This was actually one of two incidents involving raccoons in Arlington, VA this week! The other was on the day before Valentine’s Day, when animal control, officers helped helped to extricate a “hefty” raccoon caught in a drain at a school. Hey, no fat shaming the wildlife! See the post about this incident on the Animal Welfare League of Arlington’s Facebook page.