This week, in New Brunswick, NJ, a house was on fire. Once all of the human residents made it out quickly and safely, the media put their attention on a raccoon squatter who was caught up in the conflagration (that word might be a bit of an exaggeration.) From an elevated position, the critter was seen on the rooftops running for safety until it finally made a desperate leap to lower ground. Sadly, it miscalculated and its rear clipped the edge of the gutter, causing the animal to start spinning mid-air (that’s a good trick!) to the next lowest level. Then, shaking off the potential disaster as though it meant to do that, the raccoon wandered off to safety.
Early in 2017, footage of a liquor store break-in and vandalism case from late 2016 was released. This event occurred at Parkway Wine & Liquor in Bristol, TN. The perpetrators of this heinous act? Raccoons, of course! Over the course of the night, the raccoons ran amok in the store; climbing on shelves, knocking over bottles (causing about $250 in damage,) and loitering. Employees had to chase them out the next morning. Video from the event is below.
This is a good 230 miles Northwest of Raccoon Mountain in Tennessee. Raccoon Mountain has nothing do with this story, but if something happens in Tennessee involving a raccoon then it had to be brought up. It’s where all the raccoons in that state come from. Every seven years, the raccoons embark on a pilgrimage to that place. It’s a little known zoological phenomena.
For some reason, articles about the liquor store break in didn’t get written until late 2017. It’s unknown why the raccoons did this, but I suspect they’re a bunch of teetotalers who were seeking to enforce their anti-alcohol ways on the rest of the world.
The Geauga County Fair (“geauga” being the Seneca word for “raccoon”) may be Ohio’s oldest county fair, but it’s otherwise not particularly well known. This year’s festivities, however, made national news as a raccoon (based on the pawprints left atop cakes) broke into the fairgrounds on August 31 and made a meal of seven of the elven best in show baked goods nominees out of about 1,500 baked goods products the animal had to choose from.
You can watch some hard hitting reporting on the burglary from Inside Edition below:
In response, the fair organizers put up wanted posters, although in an example of species profiling they used a generic picture of a raccoon versus one of the particular bandit(s) who engaged in the theft.
Late last week, Annapurna Interactive (makers of exactly zero games I’ve played), officially announced the game Donut County. You can see the reveal trailer for it below.
The game is a “physics puzzler,” which generally means freeform stoner time waster, the likes of Namco’s infamous Katamari Damacy games (this game even employs a similar art style.) In contrast to those games, where you need to attach things to your ball to progress, this one is based on dropping objects into a hole to grow it.
Of course, what got my attention was the focus on a raccoon as the unofficial mascot of the game. At the start of the video we get a glimpse of a raccoon hovering about with some drone-like attachments, there’s the raccoon narrator, and a raccoon on a scooter was even featured in a demo of the game back in 2015!
I’m looking forward to this title, if only because every now and then I enjoy zoning out and playing a game mindlessly. Usually this involves old school shmups, but since I live in Colorado I figure I should get more into pothead fare.
Apparently this is a video promoting an expose about corruption in the Major League Soccer team, DC United. It’s by a group called Once a Metro, specifically Jesse Marsch. I think? There’s no real information divulged in the video, so I suppose it’s just a teaser for the expose? I’m not sure I can actually find the articles of whatever. Unless the implication is that actual raccoons are the source of the corruption? The whole thing is kind of baffling. But the picture of Nixon with a human-sized raccoon is kind of funny.