It’s 2017, and unlike every year before, I actually get to mark the days on a raccoon calendar! This year, Instagram celebrity Pumpkin the Raccoon‘s owner put out both a book and a calendar celebrating the cute little critter! Naturally I got both of them because I have a compulsion to acquire anything/everything with raccoons on them. At least this resolved a longstanding desire on my part, as–for decades now–I’ve excitedly browsed the calendar sections of bookstores or the pop-up booths at malls, even scouring the internet, hoping (desperately) to find a calendar devoted to raccoons. I mean, every year there are calendars for things as obscure/stupid as cow yoga or goats in trees, but nothing for the infinitely cuter “trash pandas.”
I suppose I could have gotten a Guardians of the Galaxy calendar. WHO ELSE IS SUPER PSYCHED FOR VOLUME 2 THIS YEAR?!
Actually, early in 2015 I learned that a calendar Raccoon Criminals: Beyond the Garbage Can had been printed … for 2011. Even though I was a few years too late, I bought one from Amazon for an exorbitantly large sum (that is to say, cover price for an out-of-date calendar) to find it consisting largely of poorly edited photos of raccoons trying to make them into scenes. I was disappointed.
I’m not disappointed now, as this new calendar has cute photographs and is timely. Happy 2017, everyone!