You can see all kinds of madness at malls these days. Or so I hear. I haven’t been to a mall in ages. Why go to a mall when you can buy stuff online? Besides, I’m not exactly the most ideally shaped person in the world so there’s almost never anything in my size on the racks anyway. And if you’re not talking clothes shopping, then what? Go to Gamestop to buy a video game, as if their prices are ever competitive?
And then there are the parking lots, which on weekends can best be described as nightmare to navigate with witless pedestrians wandering around and making things unnecessarily perilous.
Now, if I was likely to see an adorable little raccoon tooling around on a scooter while at a mall, I’d be way more inclined! Sadly, this seems to be a sight only reported in merry ol’ England. In a shopping center in Turnbridge (Tonbridge?) Twitter user Bobby Bewl spotted this little girl going about on her brightly colored vehicle and, as per usual these days, tweeted a video of it. It turns out the scooting cutie is actually Melanie Raccoon who has been training up for this kind of performance.
California, which has been in a perpetual state of their worst drought ever for a couple of years now, is ironically suffering a bit of flooding at the moment. Would the expression “it never rains but it pours” be appropriate when the actual problem is pouring? At that point it’s not really just a phrase because it’s literally the situation. And I mean literally literal rather than figuratively literal.
Anyway, San Diego got a lot of rain this week and so there was flooding. And by flooding, I mean a few inches (centimeters to those outside the United States.) We’re not talking the feet worth of water that Texas endured a couple of months ago that killed a couple of dozen people. Still, that’s enough to screw up peoples’ homes and make everyone panic. Including animals.
Which brings us to the raccoons in the news, where news crews spotted a couple of raccoons seeking refuge from the rushing waters atop a road sign.
Oh, for crying out loud, they used “rocky” in the title of the posting? That’s so annoyingly cliche. I’m sick of the “rocky” thing. Sure, it’s alliterative, which I guess makes it marginally better than “bandit,” but frankly using it in anything other than an ironic context is just painfully unimaginative. I thought the idiots to pick titles were supposed to be more clever than that. They always go to such lengths to make story titles and segways relevant. I remember once, watching the news about Jennifer Hudson’s troubles, they introduced the story with “She was a Dreamgirl whose dreams turned to nightmares.” Which was such a hilariously tasteless and clunky way of tying her fame with the tragedy. But I guess it’s better than, I don’t know, alluding to some connection to the Hudson river because her name is Hudson. Still better than using “rocky” with “raccoon.”
Source: KGTV San Diego