RACCOONS IN THE NEWS: We Don’t Like Your Kind ‘Round Here

Stand up to the ball busters!

There’s one kid in New York who’s mad as hell, and not going to take it anymore! So he did what anybody who wants to get tough on a problem does, he sat down and wrote a letter!  What was it that brought this young man’s piss to a boil?

Raccoons! (I could say “coons” right now to give this story the proper spin, but that would be crass.)

Apparently, his hometown of Whitestone, Queens is overrun by raccoons.  That’s not too surprising; I’ve posted articles about the abundance of the critters in New York before.  So he wrote to the local newspaper to call attention to the problem, noting how they wreak havoc in the neighborhoods as they eat garbage.  He insists they’re not as cute as they look (which is wrong; hey’re totally cute, just kind of annoying, you know, like children) and need to be taken care of.  It seems the town agrees, and is working on a solution that involves capturing wild raccoons, neutering them, and then releasing them back in the wild to curb population growth.

I dunno’, if some crazy dude kidnapped me a cut off my balls I think I’d rather have just been put down.  We’re risking getting overrun by lots of really, really angry raccoons in the future.  Of course, if they’re lacking the testosterone at that point, they might not bother to do too much about it.

Source: New York Daily News

 

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