The Academy Awards were on last Sunday, and surprisingly they brought in some of the highest ratings in ages (a decade at any rate.) I tried to watch it, but immediately after tuning in I was assaulted by one of their inane montages (they had a running theme of montages this year which highlighted the different kinds of heroes seen in movies; apparently boring the audience with these clip-fests takes priority over acceptance speeches and even the best song performances) so I gave up. No big loss for me; this was the first year I’d failed to see any of the best film nominees. It’s also kind of funny that the movie everyone cynically predicted to win best picture ended up taking home that Oscar.
But to run with a completely inappropriate metaphor, the American people sure were quick to prove that they are hopelessly enslaved … by consumerism. You see, at one point during the show–during one of the program’s infamous comedic routines (and I’m not knocking Ellen, historically these are considered death on television)–actress Lupita Nyong’o (who won the award for Best Supporting actress for her role in 12 Years a Slave) pointed out the lip balm she had on hand. The next day, proving that they really are the most base of creatures, the American people went out and bought that particular brand of lip balm in droves. It’s $24 for .5 oz of lip balm and they didn’t even question it. All that mattered was they saw a celebrity have it on the teevee. This is like how, as soon as President Obama sang a 40-year-old song, its sales spiked dramatically. Because people are just that damn mindless. Oh, wait, both of these examples were instigated by black people … that’s not possible, right? Aren’t they still, like, totally oppressed and powerless in society?
- 7 Best Lip Balms @ Total Beauty
- “12 Years a Slave” Wins Best Picture & Makes Oscars History @ Buzzfeed
- Halle Berry’s Emotional Oscar Acceptance Speech @ Daily Motion