Killzone 3: Gravity Doesn’t Work That Way!

I recently beat Killzone 3 for the Playstation 3.  I’m not entirely sure why I bothered because I don’t play first-person shooters online (why? because I tried playing this online and died ten times in the first three minutes … I wish I was kidding.) As such I was stuck with the single-player campaign for this game.  Maybe it’s just that I have a thing for shooting space Nazis.  Overall I found the experience slightly better than Killzone 2.  Why?  Because it didn’t have sections where the game would crush you if you didn’t do things the exact way it wanted you to do them.   I’m not looking for an open-world experience, but a little freedom in the order in which I kill enemies would have been nice, especially when the rules around this seemed wholly arbitrary.

But it’s not like I don’t have complaints about Killzone 3.

  1. This really is the single worst army in the universe.  Soldiers seem to occasionally follow orders only when they get tired of hurting their superior commander’s feelings by constantly ignoring him.
  2. Stealth was non-existent.  There was one sequence in the game where you were required to use stealth because your weapon couldn’t handle an all-out firefight.  However as soon as this sequence was over you might be inclined to continue using these new tricks the game forced you to learn; no deal.  Suddenly the same enemies you were able to sneak up on by thinking quiet thoughts can spot you from miles away despite crouching in the shadows while wearing camouflage.
  3. Oh, god dammit, another storyteller starting the story off at the midway point then flashing back for no reason other than being bad at telling stories.
  4. Towards the end of the game the soldiers have a battle on a space station.  Combat goes mostly the same as when it was terrestrial based; chucking grenades with reckless abandon and shooting all over the place.  One would think those would be bad ideas on a space station.  Anyway, at one point the klaxons go off and a computerized voice warned that the artificial gravity had been disabled.  Did this mean that suddenly characters were floating around?  No.  It meant jumps suddenly went for much longer distances, throwing grenades became unpredictable, and when somebody died they’d float off.  Apparently, one’s ability to stay bound to the floor persists so long as you can tell yourself “gravity is just fine.”  
  5. The finale of the game didn’t involve first-person shooting.  Instead it was an on-rails segment where the troops fly around in combat spacecraft to take out a ship.  I won’t complain about the presence of sound in space; the only people who would have more knowledge of science than sense in how to tell a story. My problems with this were that it seemed odd to make the finale of the game unlike the meat of the game, but then I guess I should be happy that it at least wasn’t a quicktime event.  My second problem was with how arbitrary it was.  I replayed a part of the damn thing a couple of dozen times, and at no point was I ever aware of what killed me or what I had done wrong to die.  When I finally did pass the part I’d kept dying on, I had absolutely no idea–besides the game taking pity on me–why that attempt had worked when so many others failed.  

Overall, there would be worse things to spend a little money on.  I wouldn’t pay more than $15 for this game if all you’re going to do is play single-player.  Sadly I paid $60 for it when Best Buy was clearing out the collector’s edition.  At least I got a nifty Helghast Helmet, which I’ve kept on display.

It watches me sleep.

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